what was it?

somehow they couldn't see coincidence in priya's sudden grown affinity with the wash room and the new guy who joined the marketing department two days back. keeping herself made up was what she was not really known for in the company.

but there was someone who knew what was happening. the pharmacist. priya had diarrhea.

she was the truth

he never said anything that was true to her. never when he held her hands, never when he held her in hands, never when he kissed her lips, never when the images on the movie screen flicked, never when he untangled her hair, never when she meddled with his hair, never when she was cooking for him, never when they were eating the single ice cream; not even whenever she cried, he would never forget she looking angelic bleary eyed

today he said it for the first time, the absolute truth - bye

the faith is damaged

i am considering suing the popular media that has been misleading me into committing certain acts that has been damaging for my faith in human intelligence and my commercial interests.

if the above fact doesn't make sense to you then please read on for what inspired me to bet my hard earned [left over] money on my plight.

i was neither offered to have sex with a hot and fresh babe in authentic bengali drape nor did any firangi chick attempted to lick/bit my right buttock in a public place to my supreme delight even after using wild stone and axe brand of deodorants repeatedly.

~~

please have a look at the labels of this story before judgmental assumptions:D

suggestions derived from a study

a news link on rediff caught my eye. it reported that a study has determined that the girls think about shopping as much times as guys do sex in a day which is an average of every 52 seconds [if the guys get that much time, that it, i presume. there are other similar exceptions {like when driving along with other girl drivers on the road - they surely won't be thinking of laying them but wishing they are invisible} to these findings but that could be the subject of another post]

so you please read up the rediff article and then read some suggestions that might be of some social help in that case:-

- government should subsidies the real estate rates for those opening specific-for-women malls. that ways they would be keeping girls away from the guys and hence contribute in decreased population growth rate.

- condom companies should open large stores, like those pen stores in malls these days that sell pens in all shapes, sizes, colours and textures. and these condom companies should give away incentives in the form of shoes and bags to the girls for doing excessive shopping. that ways they will do some social service by bringing girls near guys as well as improve revenues.

- no wonder villages and small towns have much better fertilisation rate. government should encourage malls in villages instead of spending millions on educational programs.

- companies publishing adult magazines for men should buy stakes in women fashion accessories companies and fund them so that men would find solace in their volumes when they won't find their girls at home

- instead of running 20 miles a day to shed their flab, guys should work for shoe stores. probability of a girl shrieking out of wonder on how beautiful the shoe looks on her feet and getting impressed by your shoe selection skills and hugging you would be much more than her hugging you after getting impressed by your hard earned results after you worked your ass off on that regime

where are you?

a trip to pitampura shook my faith in the crowd of noida which i was considering to be getting better. noida isn't like gk or khan market where you would see [nearly] all females chic and sexy but then not all places are gk. so since a year or so i was coming to think [looking at crowds in some posh malls] that girls in noida are getting hotter. but a drive to pitampura on folks' insistence came as a slap on the face of my standards which clearly stated that i got to review my tastes in retrospection.

extra fluoridated

for me brushing the teeth is not about fingering your tooth's ass so much that the germs get sick of the pestering and probably ultimately decide to leave but it is feeling the burning tingle that that extra-fluoridated toothpaste leaves in the mouth later, probably at the cost of a bit of your heart.

of the day

thought


"i mean can't there be females who are hot and brainy and write short posts and funny posts and are nymphomaniacs and looking for me"

running really helps

guys should run, because running helps you in at least two ways:-

1. it helps your stamina [although i don't know {maybe because of the lack of it} how it helps your sex-life]
2. it keeps the pot that you think is your belly invisible.

and thus running helps you in avoiding getting counter-sarcastic-compliments such as ... i don't remember :p

but let me tell you, your belly can never match the aesthetic value of breasts. so please guys, don't get into this competition.

fire

we humans are fascinated by fire. we know it would burn us. we still get attracted by it. we get hurt again.

what a coincidence

i think the goddess of coincidence is not really goddess [or female form]. it is actually male and it is not really fond of bloggers whose nick start with letter 'b'. so as it happened, for a lot of years i didn't have any girlfriends, or even girls for that matter, around. what a coincidence, i thought - virginity coupled with boys college [and thereafter workspace] mixed with elongated work hours. even hookers weren't obliging enough to offer any student discounts. and now when there are hot high-heeled hookers doubling up as models, females in virtually unbuttoned allen solly tight executive shirts with boobs oozing out vying for attention all around, i am married [with pledge for honesty for first 2 years]. i hope this coincidence doesn't last too long.

detached is

detached is you making love but not loving her; detached is you praying but lacking faith; detached is air but no oxygen; detached is driving but not going; detached is not missing you all the time

almost tragic

"i cant believe what an incredulously incestuous female the one in the neighbourhood is - though with all due respects to her absolutely curvaceous bod wrapped in honeyed milk dipped skin

i fancy her all the time and she says 'bhai, jara wo subzi wale ko awaj laga dena'"



~sumit said

what's with these females on orkut?

i don't understand those females on orkut who write in their about me sections or where ever on their profile that people should not be scrapping them or sometimes even view their profile. i mean can you be that dumb? although i totally understand their frustration against those despots who get their office net for their stalking activities but c'mon girls, it is like you flashing boobs in a mosh pit and expecting geeks to not crack their lenses the moment you do.

the decision over choosing college unveiled

you know why i never was able to decide [no convincing enough reason, you know] if i would want to attempt GRE or GMAT or which college i would want to join in the US or which course or whatever? because american pie 5 wasn't released. because if it would have been than i would have joined the college where they organise the naked mile every year. the race in which students strip down to their birthday suits and run for a mile around the campus - girls and boys alike, man! one rocking college it should be :D